Disasterjunkie jargonbuster 1 - Stakeholder analysis

For all you humanitarians out there I'm sure you have come across this term aplenty in assessments and project proposal writing but it can be confusing. So let's break it down into its parts. According to the Oxford online dictionary

Stake - a stake is a strong wooden or metal post with a point at one end, driven into the ground to support a plant, form part of a fence, mark a boundary etc

Holder -  a person that holds something

Analysis -  a detailed examination of the elements or structure of something 

So if we put them together we can possibly deduce that stakeholder analysis means a detailed examination of a person holding a wooden stake. And then we ask, who would be interested in carrying out such an examination? Evidence based on popular culture would lead us to conclude there is one significant target group - VAMPIRES (see Buffy the Vampire Slayer, The Vampire Diaries, and my favourite True Blood).

Therefore a stakeholder analysis is in fact a vampire-led risk assessment. 


Techniques a vampire or group of vampires could use in conducting a risk assessment might include direct observation as seen below

or semi structured interviews with key informants, ideally in an informal setting as observed here

As a noticeably discriminated-against group it understandable why vampires would want and need to conduct risk assessments considering the blatant provocative slogans inciting hatred against them

As yet there is no International Convention on All Forms of Discrimination Against Vampires but perhaps in future this might reach the agenda of the United Nations so that vampires everywhere will be protected and they can claim their rights.